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Showing posts with label Funny. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Funny. Show all posts
Saturday, January 14, 2012
Friday, January 13, 2012
Thursday, January 12, 2012
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Real Cases in PC Customer Care Records
Have you ever wondered what all call-center employees have to deal with. Read on ...
1). Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."
Customer "Ok."
Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No."
Tech Support: "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"
Customer "No."
Tech Support:: "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?"
Customer: "Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click' on the top of my desk."
1). Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."
Customer "Ok."
Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No."
Tech Support: "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"
Customer "No."
Tech Support:: "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?"
Customer: "Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click' on the top of my desk."
Friday, August 21, 2009
Melvin Durai's Humor: "THANK YOU FOR NOT SHARING"
Column at Nshima.com
I'd like to take a few minutes to thank some of my friends
for not sharing. I know how hard it is not to share. After
all, when I was a little boy, my mother drummed into me the
importance of sharing. And soon after that, she scolded me
for coughing on my sister and trying to share my germs.
I'd like to take a few minutes to thank some of my friends
for not sharing. I know how hard it is not to share. After
all, when I was a little boy, my mother drummed into me the
importance of sharing. And soon after that, she scolded me
for coughing on my sister and trying to share my germs.
Awesome Replies to Adult Questions
(Miss Universe Contest)
USA
Question: Ms America, how do you describe a male organ in your country?
Ms America: Well, I can say that male organs in America are like gentlemen.
Question: How can you say so?
Ms America: Because it stands every time it sees a woman..
(Applause! Applause!)
USA
Question: Ms America, how do you describe a male organ in your country?
Ms America: Well, I can say that male organs in America are like gentlemen.
Question: How can you say so?
Ms America: Because it stands every time it sees a woman..
(Applause! Applause!)
Friday, February 20, 2009
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Melvin Durai's Humor: "GIVE YOURSELF AN EDGE IN THE JOB MARKET"
Column at Nshima.com
These are tough economic times in America and elsewhere. If
you're like me, you're saving money any way you can. I've
cancelled my cable, invested in a good pair of binoculars
and started watching my neighbor's TV. Desperate times call
for desperate measures.
In this harsh economic climate, it's important to have a
job, any job. But finding a job isn't easy, especially since
so many companies are giving their employees -- even the
male ones -- pink slips. Competition for jobs is so intense
that chess champ Vishwanathan Anand has been flooded
with applications, all because someone wrote that he has
"good openings."
With all the competition, it's vital for job seekers to give
themselves an edge. That's why I've decided to offer a few
tips to help people stand out from the crowd. Some of these
tips may seem obvious, but, trust me, they're often
overlooked.
---Tip #1: Learn to speak English. When the economy was
strong, some folks were able to find decent jobs in America
by knowing just three words of English: "Me want job."
Others, realizing the importance of grammar, tried a little
harder: "Me wants job."
These days, three words of English aren't enough to secure a
job in any part of America outside Miami. Job seekers must
learn at least six words, particularly these six: "Would you
like fries with that?"
They may seem like easy words, but some immigrants really
struggle with them. A few have been fired from fast-food
restaurants for repeatedly asking customers, "Would you like
flies with that?"
The restaurants, as you can imagine, received many customer
complaints, such as the one from a West Virginia man who
threw his meal at the manager, shouting: "I thought I was
getting flies with my burger, not fries."
---Tip #2: Go easy on the tattoos and body piercing. Two or
three are OK, but when your entire body is green, the only
people you're likely to impress are environmentalists. Well,
perhaps a few others too, but they probably won't offer you
a job, unless one of them is a farmer and, with planting
season coming around, needs another scarecrow.
(Yes, I know: some tattoos are works of art. In fact,
Leonardo Da Vinci first tattooed the Mona Lisa on a friend's
backside. Unfortunately nipple rings weren't common in those
days, so he couldn't hang his friend in a gallery.)
---Tip #3: Put your best foot forward at the job interview.
This can be hard, especially if your feet look the same.
Your friends can probably help you figure out which foot is
better, but if you're still unsure, consult a podiatrist.
---Tip #4: Dress for success. Too many people,
unfortunately, dress for failure. Don't expect Chase Bank to
hire you if you're wearing a T-shirt that says "Go bonkers!"
The least you can do is change the second 'o' to an 'a.'
---Tip #5: Groom yourself well. If you're a man, it's
probably a good idea to trim your nails, mustache and any
unruly locks of nose hair. If you're a woman, resist the
temptation to dye your hair orange -- unless you're applying
for a job as a traffic cone.
---Tip #6: Try to smell good. The most important thing you
can do to smell good is take a bath, even if you've already
taken one this year. You can practice water conservation
AFTER the interview. A little perfume or cologne would also
help, but don't empty the bottle, unless you want to spend
your day reviving the interviewer.
---Tip #7: Do some research. Employers are impressed when
you know something about them. You might want to find out,
for example, what they do. Don't ask the manager of Cracker
Barrel how heavy the barrels are. And don't ask the
recruiter at Samsung what exactly it was that Sam sung.
---Tip #8: Don't do drugs. Most employers test for drugs and
if you fail the test, you won't get a second chance, unless
you're in the National Football League. If you like to get
high several times a week, apply for a job as a flight
attendant. It's safer and it won't deplete your bank
account. Just be careful how you greet the passengers: "Good
morning! Hope you have a good fright!"
----------------------------------------------------------
(c) Copyright 2009 Melvin Durai. All Rights Reserved.
MelvinDurai.com
These are tough economic times in America and elsewhere. If
you're like me, you're saving money any way you can. I've
cancelled my cable, invested in a good pair of binoculars
and started watching my neighbor's TV. Desperate times call
for desperate measures.
In this harsh economic climate, it's important to have a
job, any job. But finding a job isn't easy, especially since
so many companies are giving their employees -- even the
male ones -- pink slips. Competition for jobs is so intense
that chess champ Vishwanathan Anand has been flooded
with applications, all because someone wrote that he has
"good openings."
With all the competition, it's vital for job seekers to give
themselves an edge. That's why I've decided to offer a few
tips to help people stand out from the crowd. Some of these
tips may seem obvious, but, trust me, they're often
overlooked.
---Tip #1: Learn to speak English. When the economy was
strong, some folks were able to find decent jobs in America
by knowing just three words of English: "Me want job."
Others, realizing the importance of grammar, tried a little
harder: "Me wants job."
These days, three words of English aren't enough to secure a
job in any part of America outside Miami. Job seekers must
learn at least six words, particularly these six: "Would you
like fries with that?"
They may seem like easy words, but some immigrants really
struggle with them. A few have been fired from fast-food
restaurants for repeatedly asking customers, "Would you like
flies with that?"
The restaurants, as you can imagine, received many customer
complaints, such as the one from a West Virginia man who
threw his meal at the manager, shouting: "I thought I was
getting flies with my burger, not fries."
---Tip #2: Go easy on the tattoos and body piercing. Two or
three are OK, but when your entire body is green, the only
people you're likely to impress are environmentalists. Well,
perhaps a few others too, but they probably won't offer you
a job, unless one of them is a farmer and, with planting
season coming around, needs another scarecrow.
(Yes, I know: some tattoos are works of art. In fact,
Leonardo Da Vinci first tattooed the Mona Lisa on a friend's
backside. Unfortunately nipple rings weren't common in those
days, so he couldn't hang his friend in a gallery.)
---Tip #3: Put your best foot forward at the job interview.
This can be hard, especially if your feet look the same.
Your friends can probably help you figure out which foot is
better, but if you're still unsure, consult a podiatrist.
---Tip #4: Dress for success. Too many people,
unfortunately, dress for failure. Don't expect Chase Bank to
hire you if you're wearing a T-shirt that says "Go bonkers!"
The least you can do is change the second 'o' to an 'a.'
---Tip #5: Groom yourself well. If you're a man, it's
probably a good idea to trim your nails, mustache and any
unruly locks of nose hair. If you're a woman, resist the
temptation to dye your hair orange -- unless you're applying
for a job as a traffic cone.
---Tip #6: Try to smell good. The most important thing you
can do to smell good is take a bath, even if you've already
taken one this year. You can practice water conservation
AFTER the interview. A little perfume or cologne would also
help, but don't empty the bottle, unless you want to spend
your day reviving the interviewer.
---Tip #7: Do some research. Employers are impressed when
you know something about them. You might want to find out,
for example, what they do. Don't ask the manager of Cracker
Barrel how heavy the barrels are. And don't ask the
recruiter at Samsung what exactly it was that Sam sung.
---Tip #8: Don't do drugs. Most employers test for drugs and
if you fail the test, you won't get a second chance, unless
you're in the National Football League. If you like to get
high several times a week, apply for a job as a flight
attendant. It's safer and it won't deplete your bank
account. Just be careful how you greet the passengers: "Good
morning! Hope you have a good fright!"
----------------------------------------------------------
(c) Copyright 2009 Melvin Durai. All Rights Reserved.
MelvinDurai.com
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Cartoons Inspired by Bush Shoe Throwing
Cartoons: Shoe thrown at Bush
Cartoons: Shoe thrown at Bush
Cartoons: Shoe thrown at Bush
Cartoons: Shoe thrown at Bush
Cartoons: Shoe thrown at Bush
Cartoons: Shoe thrown at Bush
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Melvin Durai's Humour: "THE OLYMPICS GIVE US REASON TO HOPE"
Column at Nshima.com
If you're like most people, you didn't watch enough of the Beijing Olympics, partly because there were just too many events happening at the same time and partly because, having a full-time job, you had to spend a little time every morning coughing into the phone.
Considering everything that happened at the Olympics, I probably watched only one percent of the action. I completely missed the badminton and table tennis competition -- they must have been on TV while I was asleep -- and I caught only a little of the rhythmic dancing (Usain Bolt sure knows how to shake it). But I did watch quite a bit of the Jamaican sprint events, as well as the tiny tot gymnastics and the always-popular bikini show (disguised brilliantly as beach volleyball). And I got a thrill out of watching swimmer Michael Phelps make Olympic history, winning eight gold medals and setting a world record for total amount of chest exposure on TV. (Eat your heart out, Janet Jackson.)
These Olympics certainly left us with many unforgettable moments, starting with the spectacular opening ceremony that mesmerized people all over the world, even causing one family in West Virginia to pose for photographs next to their TV screen. I don't know about you, but I won't soon forget the awesome fireworks display, almost too amazing to be true, as well as that cute little girl who did a fabulous job of lip-synching.
Perhaps the most impressive performance at the Olympics belonged to Phelps, who left viewers around the world shaking their heads and asking one question: "How does he do it?" Americans wondered how he manages to break so many world records, while Germans and Russians wondered how he manages to pass all his drug tests.
Some experts debated endlessly whether Phelps is the greatest Olympian ever. As for me, I just had to watch a few of his races to realize that he's the greatest athlete to ever compete in the Olympics wearing Speedos.
Bolt does not wear Speedos, but he's extremely speedy. So speedy, in fact, that he broke the world record in the 100m dash, despite taking a break in the middle to eat some Jamaican jerk chicken. It happened so fast that only sharp-eyed IOC president Jacques Rogge noticed it and made a big issue of the Jamaican jerk.
Bolt and Phelps were phenomenal, but so was Natalie du Toit, the South African swimmer. Du Toit had her left leg amputated at the knee in 2001 after a scooter accident, but kept competing and became the first female amputee to ever qualify for the Olympics. She finished 16th among 24 swimmers in the 10km marathon, ahead of eight swimmers and only about 80 seconds behind the winner. Just imagine what a difference another leg would have made. Yes, those eight swimmers might have beaten her with three.
Du Toit didn't win a medal, but she inspired many people and was part of a great showing by African athletes, who won 40 medals, a record for the continent. Most of the medals came in running, but if you don't think Africans can attack the water as aggressively as Phelps, you should have seen the Kenyans after the marathon. You should have also seen Tunisia's Oussama Mellouli, who won a gold medal in 1500m freestyle, and Zimbabwe's Kirsty Coventry, who won one gold and three silver, causing people in her homeland to name another cluster of babies after her: Backstroke Banda, Goldmedal Gondwe and Swimwell Sakala.
India won three medals in Beijing, including Abhinav Bindra's gold medal in shooting. I'm most proud of the bronze medal that boxer Vijender Kumar won. I never thought an Indian would bring home a medal in boxing, not without breaking into the Cuban hotel rooms. But Vijender did it, and thanks to him, I can finally walk into a boxing gym, put on a pair of gloves and step into the ring, believing that I might be able to hold my own for a few minutes, at least until the other fighter shows up.
That's what the Olympics do -- they give us hope. Hope that we can be like Phelps or Bolt or Kumar. Hope that we can make the most of our abilities, like du Toit. Hope that even if we're short on talent, we can lip-synch our way to fame.
----------------------------------------------------------
(c) Copyright 2008 Melvin Durai. All Rights Reserved.
MelvinDurai.com
If you're like most people, you didn't watch enough of the Beijing Olympics, partly because there were just too many events happening at the same time and partly because, having a full-time job, you had to spend a little time every morning coughing into the phone.Considering everything that happened at the Olympics, I probably watched only one percent of the action. I completely missed the badminton and table tennis competition -- they must have been on TV while I was asleep -- and I caught only a little of the rhythmic dancing (Usain Bolt sure knows how to shake it). But I did watch quite a bit of the Jamaican sprint events, as well as the tiny tot gymnastics and the always-popular bikini show (disguised brilliantly as beach volleyball). And I got a thrill out of watching swimmer Michael Phelps make Olympic history, winning eight gold medals and setting a world record for total amount of chest exposure on TV. (Eat your heart out, Janet Jackson.)
These Olympics certainly left us with many unforgettable moments, starting with the spectacular opening ceremony that mesmerized people all over the world, even causing one family in West Virginia to pose for photographs next to their TV screen. I don't know about you, but I won't soon forget the awesome fireworks display, almost too amazing to be true, as well as that cute little girl who did a fabulous job of lip-synching.
Perhaps the most impressive performance at the Olympics belonged to Phelps, who left viewers around the world shaking their heads and asking one question: "How does he do it?" Americans wondered how he manages to break so many world records, while Germans and Russians wondered how he manages to pass all his drug tests.Some experts debated endlessly whether Phelps is the greatest Olympian ever. As for me, I just had to watch a few of his races to realize that he's the greatest athlete to ever compete in the Olympics wearing Speedos.
Bolt does not wear Speedos, but he's extremely speedy. So speedy, in fact, that he broke the world record in the 100m dash, despite taking a break in the middle to eat some Jamaican jerk chicken. It happened so fast that only sharp-eyed IOC president Jacques Rogge noticed it and made a big issue of the Jamaican jerk.
Bolt and Phelps were phenomenal, but so was Natalie du Toit, the South African swimmer. Du Toit had her left leg amputated at the knee in 2001 after a scooter accident, but kept competing and became the first female amputee to ever qualify for the Olympics. She finished 16th among 24 swimmers in the 10km marathon, ahead of eight swimmers and only about 80 seconds behind the winner. Just imagine what a difference another leg would have made. Yes, those eight swimmers might have beaten her with three.
Du Toit didn't win a medal, but she inspired many people and was part of a great showing by African athletes, who won 40 medals, a record for the continent. Most of the medals came in running, but if you don't think Africans can attack the water as aggressively as Phelps, you should have seen the Kenyans after the marathon. You should have also seen Tunisia's Oussama Mellouli, who won a gold medal in 1500m freestyle, and Zimbabwe's Kirsty Coventry, who won one gold and three silver, causing people in her homeland to name another cluster of babies after her: Backstroke Banda, Goldmedal Gondwe and Swimwell Sakala.
India won three medals in Beijing, including Abhinav Bindra's gold medal in shooting. I'm most proud of the bronze medal that boxer Vijender Kumar won. I never thought an Indian would bring home a medal in boxing, not without breaking into the Cuban hotel rooms. But Vijender did it, and thanks to him, I can finally walk into a boxing gym, put on a pair of gloves and step into the ring, believing that I might be able to hold my own for a few minutes, at least until the other fighter shows up.
That's what the Olympics do -- they give us hope. Hope that we can be like Phelps or Bolt or Kumar. Hope that we can make the most of our abilities, like du Toit. Hope that even if we're short on talent, we can lip-synch our way to fame.
----------------------------------------------------------
(c) Copyright 2008 Melvin Durai. All Rights Reserved.
MelvinDurai.com
Friday, August 22, 2008
Job Abbreviations
The interviewer examined the job application
then turned to the prospective employee.
"I see you have put 'ASAP' down for the date
you are available to start, meaning as soon
as possible, of course. However, I see you've
put 'AMAP' down for required salary. I don't believe
I've ever seen that before, what does it mean?"
The applicant replied, "As Much as Possible!"
then turned to the prospective employee.
"I see you have put 'ASAP' down for the date
you are available to start, meaning as soon
as possible, of course. However, I see you've
put 'AMAP' down for required salary. I don't believe
I've ever seen that before, what does it mean?"
The applicant replied, "As Much as Possible!"
Monday, August 18, 2008
Mother-in-Law
A young lady came home from a date looking rather sad. She told her mother, "Rahul proposed to me an hour ago."
"Then why are you so sad?" her mother asked.
"Because he also told me he was an atheist. Mom, he doesn't even believe there's a hell."
Her mother replied, "Marry him anyway. Between the two of us, we'll show him how wrong he is."
"Then why are you so sad?" her mother asked.
"Because he also told me he was an atheist. Mom, he doesn't even believe there's a hell."
Her mother replied, "Marry him anyway. Between the two of us, we'll show him how wrong he is."
Men are better friends
Women: A wife was not at home for a whole night. So, the next morning, she tells her husband that she stayed at her girlfriend's apartment overnight. The husband calls 10 of her best girlfriends and none of them confirm that.
Men: A husband was not at home for a whole night. So he tells his wife the next morning, that he stayed at his friend's apartment overnight. So the wife calls 10 of his best friends: 5 of them confirmed that he stayed at their apartments that night, and the other 5 are claiming that he still is there with them!
Conclusion : Men are better friends
Men: A husband was not at home for a whole night. So he tells his wife the next morning, that he stayed at his friend's apartment overnight. So the wife calls 10 of his best friends: 5 of them confirmed that he stayed at their apartments that night, and the other 5 are claiming that he still is there with them!
Conclusion : Men are better friends
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Melvin Durai's Humor: "THE SHOT HEARD AROUND THE WORLD"
Column at Nshima.com
In case you missed the news, in case you were sleeping under a rock or just got released from Guantanamo, India won its first-ever individual gold medal at the Beijing Olympics, causing 1.1 billion people to jump up and down with joy, touching off a minor earthquake in California and a major interruption in tech support.
Yes, an Indian man won an Olympic gold medal -- and without all his opponents getting injured. Abhinav Bindra, a 25-year-old from Delhi, won first place in the 10m air rifle event, beating 50 other shooters, including that great Albanian marksman Imer Gudschot.
So excited were members of the Indian Olympic Association, so taken in this moment of high-fives and champagne-popping, that some of them checked the official medal table to see if India had moved past America. No such luck, of course, but that didn't stop Indians from celebrating like it was the greatest Olympic achievement ever. And who can blame them? After all, it was their first individual gold medal since India began competing in the Olympics more than a century ago, back in the days when "catapulting" was an official sport.
"The drought is over!" screamed one newspaper's headline, causing even more celebration across the land, particularly in the farming community.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
(c) Copyright 2008 Melvin Durai. All Rights Reserved.
MelvinDurai.com
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
- My Funny Inbox
massive collection of funny e-mails, jokes, funny pictures
In case you missed the news, in case you were sleeping under a rock or just got released from Guantanamo, India won its first-ever individual gold medal at the Beijing Olympics, causing 1.1 billion people to jump up and down with joy, touching off a minor earthquake in California and a major interruption in tech support.Yes, an Indian man won an Olympic gold medal -- and without all his opponents getting injured. Abhinav Bindra, a 25-year-old from Delhi, won first place in the 10m air rifle event, beating 50 other shooters, including that great Albanian marksman Imer Gudschot.
So excited were members of the Indian Olympic Association, so taken in this moment of high-fives and champagne-popping, that some of them checked the official medal table to see if India had moved past America. No such luck, of course, but that didn't stop Indians from celebrating like it was the greatest Olympic achievement ever. And who can blame them? After all, it was their first individual gold medal since India began competing in the Olympics more than a century ago, back in the days when "catapulting" was an official sport.
"The drought is over!" screamed one newspaper's headline, causing even more celebration across the land, particularly in the farming community.
It was a shining moment for India on the world's greatest sporting stage. As one Indian politician eloquently put it, "Abhinav Bindra has shooted us all into glory!"
Almost everyone in India, from the Prime Minister to the church minister, heaped praise on Bindra. Even members of the Indian Astronomers Association, attending a convention in Pune, took a break from the proceedings to applaud the "shooting star."
Congratulatory messages poured into India from all over the world. U.S. presidential candidate John McCain, hoping to endear himself to Indian-American voters, sent a congratulatory card that he said was "from one straight shooter to another."
Indian legislators debated a motion to celebrate Aug. 11 every year as Gold Medal Day. They voted down a proposal to display Bindra's medal at a national museum in Delhi, amid fears that the building would not be able to handle the millions who would come to view it.
The excitement and celebration may have seemed overblown, but not to Indians. "People around the world may not know this," a Chennai man said, "but we Indians really love gold!"
Bindra's victory, combined with shooter Rajyavardhan Singh Rathore's silver medal at the 2004 Olympics, is expected to increase the popularity of shooting in India, drawing thousands of youngsters to shooting competitions and exhibitions during breaks from cricket.
"We want shooting to be more popular in India," said sports administrator Baljit Singh, "but not as popular as it is in America."
Hoping to match the success of TGC (The Golf Channel) in America, media mogul Rupert Murdoch announced that Indian viewers would soon be treated to TSC (The Shooting Channel).
It's expected to feature various shooting competitions from around the world, as well as reruns of the American shows "Gunsmoke" and "Have Gun Will Travel."
Rajesh Patel, who has been hired as a TSC analyst, said Bindra's victory will have a lasting impact in India, even on sports announcing. "We're not going to say that someone's performance is 'simply wonderful' anymore," he said. "We're going to say that it's 'simply Bindraful.'"
Schoolchildren for years to come will learn about Bindra, thanks partly to an Indian publisher who has already put out a special alphabet book: "A is for Abhinav. Abhinav is first name of champion. B is for Bindra. Bindra is surname of champion. C is for Chapati. Chapati is food of champion."
Bindra has not just earned a lifetime of adulation, he has become India's most eligible bachelor, receiving a flood of marriage proposals. Said his proud mother: "We have received proposals from North Indians, South Indians, even West Indians."
Indeed, a Trinidad dairy farmer with a 20-year-old daughter offered 1,000 cows in dowry, but Bindra turned down the offer, saying he doesn't want to milk his fame.
That pleased Indian sports fans, who want Bindra to choose his bride carefully, believing that the country's future Olympic glory rests partly on what type of genes his children inherit. Some are even dreaming of a match between Bindra and badminton star Saina Nehwal, an Olympic quarterfinalist. But that would be folly, according to one Indian scientist, who said, "If we match a badmintoner with a shooter, we might end up with a badshooter."
Almost everyone in India, from the Prime Minister to the church minister, heaped praise on Bindra. Even members of the Indian Astronomers Association, attending a convention in Pune, took a break from the proceedings to applaud the "shooting star."
Congratulatory messages poured into India from all over the world. U.S. presidential candidate John McCain, hoping to endear himself to Indian-American voters, sent a congratulatory card that he said was "from one straight shooter to another."
Indian legislators debated a motion to celebrate Aug. 11 every year as Gold Medal Day. They voted down a proposal to display Bindra's medal at a national museum in Delhi, amid fears that the building would not be able to handle the millions who would come to view it.
The excitement and celebration may have seemed overblown, but not to Indians. "People around the world may not know this," a Chennai man said, "but we Indians really love gold!"
Bindra's victory, combined with shooter Rajyavardhan Singh Rathore's silver medal at the 2004 Olympics, is expected to increase the popularity of shooting in India, drawing thousands of youngsters to shooting competitions and exhibitions during breaks from cricket.
"We want shooting to be more popular in India," said sports administrator Baljit Singh, "but not as popular as it is in America."
Hoping to match the success of TGC (The Golf Channel) in America, media mogul Rupert Murdoch announced that Indian viewers would soon be treated to TSC (The Shooting Channel).
It's expected to feature various shooting competitions from around the world, as well as reruns of the American shows "Gunsmoke" and "Have Gun Will Travel."
Rajesh Patel, who has been hired as a TSC analyst, said Bindra's victory will have a lasting impact in India, even on sports announcing. "We're not going to say that someone's performance is 'simply wonderful' anymore," he said. "We're going to say that it's 'simply Bindraful.'"
Schoolchildren for years to come will learn about Bindra, thanks partly to an Indian publisher who has already put out a special alphabet book: "A is for Abhinav. Abhinav is first name of champion. B is for Bindra. Bindra is surname of champion. C is for Chapati. Chapati is food of champion."
Bindra has not just earned a lifetime of adulation, he has become India's most eligible bachelor, receiving a flood of marriage proposals. Said his proud mother: "We have received proposals from North Indians, South Indians, even West Indians."
Indeed, a Trinidad dairy farmer with a 20-year-old daughter offered 1,000 cows in dowry, but Bindra turned down the offer, saying he doesn't want to milk his fame.
That pleased Indian sports fans, who want Bindra to choose his bride carefully, believing that the country's future Olympic glory rests partly on what type of genes his children inherit. Some are even dreaming of a match between Bindra and badminton star Saina Nehwal, an Olympic quarterfinalist. But that would be folly, according to one Indian scientist, who said, "If we match a badmintoner with a shooter, we might end up with a badshooter."
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
(c) Copyright 2008 Melvin Durai. All Rights Reserved.
MelvinDurai.com
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
- My Funny Inbox
massive collection of funny e-mails, jokes, funny pictures
Friday, August 8, 2008
Blonde's Day Out
A blonde tries to go horseback riding even though she has had no lessons or prior experience she mounts the horse unassisted and the horse immediately springs into action.
It gallops along at a steady rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to lose her grip and starts to slide in the saddle.
In terror, she grabs for the mane but can't seem to get a firm grip.
She tries to throw her arms around the horses neck, but she slides down the side of the horse anyway. The horse gallops along, seemingly impervious to it's slipping rider.
Unfortunately, the blondes foot has become entangled in the stirrup.
She is now at the mercy of the hooves as her head is struck against the ground over and over again.
As her head is battered against the ground she is moments away from losing consciousness when, to her great fortune.
The Woolworth's Manager sees her and unplugs the horse.
- My Funny Inbox
massive collection of funny e-mails, jokes, funny pictures
It gallops along at a steady rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to lose her grip and starts to slide in the saddle.
In terror, she grabs for the mane but can't seem to get a firm grip.
She tries to throw her arms around the horses neck, but she slides down the side of the horse anyway. The horse gallops along, seemingly impervious to it's slipping rider.
Unfortunately, the blondes foot has become entangled in the stirrup.
She is now at the mercy of the hooves as her head is struck against the ground over and over again.
As her head is battered against the ground she is moments away from losing consciousness when, to her great fortune.
The Woolworth's Manager sees her and unplugs the horse.
- My Funny Inbox
massive collection of funny e-mails, jokes, funny pictures
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Asthma Attack!
Matthew sets up Andrew to go on a blind date with a friend of his. But
Andrew is a little worried about going out with someone he has never
seen before.
"What do I do if she's ugly?" says Andrew, "I'll be stuck with her all night."
"Don't worry." Matthew says. "Just go up to her door and meet her
first. If you like what you see, then everything goes as planned. If
you don't, just shout Aaauuuggghhh! and fake an asthma attack."
So that night, Andrew knocks at the girl's door, and when she comes
out he is awe-struck at how beautiful and sexy she is. Andrew's about
to speak when the girl suddenly shouts, "Aaauuuggghhh! "
- My Funny Inbox
massive collection of funny e-mails, jokes, funny pictures
Andrew is a little worried about going out with someone he has never
seen before.
"What do I do if she's ugly?" says Andrew, "I'll be stuck with her all night."
"Don't worry." Matthew says. "Just go up to her door and meet her
first. If you like what you see, then everything goes as planned. If
you don't, just shout Aaauuuggghhh! and fake an asthma attack."
So that night, Andrew knocks at the girl's door, and when she comes
out he is awe-struck at how beautiful and sexy she is. Andrew's about
to speak when the girl suddenly shouts, "Aaauuuggghhh! "
- My Funny Inbox
massive collection of funny e-mails, jokes, funny pictures
Responsible & Not Responsible
A guy, sitting outside his home about to be evicted from his house, was contemplating how the future would be after he had divorced his wife, lost his children and lost his job.
He notices a crate of beer bottles and walks up to it.
He takes out an empty bottle, smashing it into the concrete wall swearing, "You are the reason I don' t have a wife", second bottle, "You are the reason I don't have my children", third bottle "You are the reason I lost my job". He notices the fourth bottle is sealed and still full of beer. He takes the bottle, puts it aside and says "Stand aside my dear friend, I know you were not involved.... .
- My Funny Inbox
massive collection of funny e-mails, jokes, funny pictures
He notices a crate of beer bottles and walks up to it.
He takes out an empty bottle, smashing it into the concrete wall swearing, "You are the reason I don' t have a wife", second bottle, "You are the reason I don't have my children", third bottle "You are the reason I lost my job". He notices the fourth bottle is sealed and still full of beer. He takes the bottle, puts it aside and says "Stand aside my dear friend, I know you were not involved.... .
- My Funny Inbox
massive collection of funny e-mails, jokes, funny pictures
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